Douglas-fir Blog

As I write, we are gliding on calm waters somewhere in the North Atlantic Ocean, making our way for New York. We are on a beautiful, large ocean liner, the Queen Mary II. The sea has not been rough. The past couple of days, the ocean has been as black as obsidian under stern clouds, and this morning it was so foggy that one could hardly see a few yards past the railing. I looked out again, though, just before noon, and to my astonishment, the fog had vanished, and the sea is now a striking turquoise under a clear sky, with pastel-hued clouds streaking the horizons. It is a glorious sight.

We have all been faring well on our voyage. Before we departed for New York, we spent several days in England, where we were showered with hospitality by friends of my Mom’s from Essex, and indeed everywhere we went. We also saw the sights of London for an afternoon, including the Tower of London.


< All together again, London >

I’m still curious how I’ll react when I enter the land of Wal-Marts and the home of the Hummer H2 once again, although New York is as good as foreign territory for us Oregonians anyway when it comes to cultural perceptions. I do think it definitely helps to return in stages. Another benefit of this is the slowly adjusting time difference. Since the second day at sea, the clock has been shifting back one hour each day. I should be using this hour to get some extra sleep, but I’ve tended instead to add an extra hour to my day.



We speed on through the waters. In a couple of days, the Statue of Liberty will come into view over the waters, beckoning, and I will arrive in my homeland. I will see the same sight that so many thousands saw as they glimpsed America for the first time, their uncertainty about emigrating from the land and life they’d always known, most likely never to return, to come to a strange land… that fear perhaps quelled by their excitement at the chance to build a new life.

How things have changed! Ocean liners are now equipped with electronic navigation systems, stabilizers, satellite internet access, not to mention all the comforts of a hotel even for “steerage” passengers. Cramped airline seats and plastic food, while not pleasant, have thankfully replaced the worse discomforts of emigrating by ship in those bygone days.

My reasons for traveling, of course, are much different, as are the times in which I live, but I can’t help but feel the ghosts of history over this ancient route: My ancestors came to America from Europe over these seas, and my heritage and cultural roots lie firmly in Europe. Will I return to the continent they came from and build a new life there? When, how, or even if, I do not know.

Whatever the case, I’m certainly starting a new adventure. As I’ve strolled the deck, the verses of Walt Whitman have often come to mind:


O we can wait no longer,
We too take ship O soul,
Joyous we too launch out on trackless seas,
Fearless for unknown shores on waves of ecstasy to sail,
Amid the wafting winds…
Caroling free, singing our song of God,
Chanting our chant of pleasant exploration.

O daring joy, but safe! are they not all seas of God?



< First evening at sea, off the coast of England >

Wow.

I could write pages and pages about the last little more than a week that has passed since Thursday, the 26th. I hardly know where to start. I could write so much about just that day. Suffice it to say that on that morning, after a punishing all-nighter preparing my room to move out of, I took the train to Frankfurt and met my family as they came out the door into the area of the airport where reunions wait to happen. It was a very special moment, and there were big hugs all around. We were all together again after a year apart.

Between that moment and the present one has been a European adventure as well as a family one: we’ve been around Germany, drove through eastern France, saw Luxembourg, and are now in Prague, in the Czech Republic. We’ve also experienced being a family together once again, and working through challenges including, but not limited to moving me out of my room, which was a major undertaking that I couldn’t have done before my deadline without my family’s help. We did it though, and after I passed the Hausmeister’s notoriously thorough inspection, I handed over my key, and was officially moved out. Even as we had fun together, I experienced a succession of difficult moments of realization: moving out of my room, finishing the last of the remaining formalities at the PH-Ludwigsburg, closing the last of my accounts in Germany, and finally, leaving Germany itself for the last time in this season of my life. These moments all pounded in the reality of my leaving my home of one year, one by one, harder and harder. I’m finding myself mourning somewhat, even as I enjoy traveling in Europe with my family. In Germany, I translated much of the time and was familiar with cultural, historical, and geographical aspects that made me the natural tour guide for the family. On the morning of the 3rd, we went to the Dortmund airport and got on an airplane bound for Prague, and at that moment, my German language immersion vanished, and I believe at that point more than any other, the finality of my tine in Germany hit me.

We are now in the beautiful city of Prague, where, unlike other places we have stayed up until this point, we have free wireless internet, which enables me to post this report. Despite having to dodge swarms of tourists, we are thoroughly enjoying ourselves here, following the steps of Mozart, taking in the picturesque architecture of the old city, and generally relaxing after all the moving about we’ve done. In spite of this, I’ve found myself feeling uncomfortable being in an environment where I don’t speak the local language at all; my sole knowledge of Czech comes from the short time I took some Russian, another Slavic language, at PSU. However, that doesn’t help much except for guessing some basic words. I prefer to have at least a rudimentary grasp on the local language before I visit a place, or else to have a local contact with whom I could start to learn it there. Even in French I could comfortably blunder my way along, and probably improve my skills on the way, but I dislike having to resort to English all the time. On the other hand, perhaps I’m feeling so strongly this way now because I’ve just left Germany. It’s hard to sort everything out at the moment.

Regardless of that, however, I’m having a wonderful adventure here with my family. Tomorrow, we fly to England, our last stop before returning to the States. More updates can be expected, although they might take a while, since internet access and time to write will most likely be scarce until I’m in Portland.